Dear YAWAV,

 

     My boyfriend slapped me last month when he was drunk, and I forgave him because I thought he wasn’t conscious enough to acknowledge what he was doing. But on the next day, he told me that I’m not allowed to leave the apartment or use the phone. He even put a lock on the front door when he leaves to make sure that I can’t get out. I feel that he’s just making sure that I won’t cheat on him. But sometimes I feel trapped inside his apartment, and really don’t get why he always hits me. Am I in a violent relationship? Or am I just paranoid?

 

Jessica

 

Dear Jessica,

 

     You are not paranoid. This is definitely not a healthy relationship. It’s not right for your boyfriend to be violent to you, no matter what. Since you can’t leave the apartment, there’s no way for to you to get out for help. But there are times when he’s out, and probably wouldn’t know that you used the phone. So find a day when you’re sure he wouldn’t be back for a while, and call 911 for help. Then call the women’s shelter nearby to make sure you have a place to stay at when you’re out of that apartment.

 

YAWAV

 

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Dear YAWAV,

 

     My mom used to be really loving and caring. But after she got a divorce with my dad, her personality underwent a 180 degree change. She would beat me for not finishing the dishes on time, or missing a piece of garbage on the floor. I’m afraid that if I tell someone about her, she would get in trouble, and I would be put into a foster home. I’m also scared that people will think I’m a sissy for being afraid of my mom as a guy. What should I do?

 

Anonymous

 

Dear Anonymous,

 

     It’s not your fault that your mom is treating you like this. Perhaps the divorce between her and your dad has damaged her mentally. Try speaking to your mother about this, but if she still does not change her attitude, speak to a counselor, pronto. Your safety is important.

 

YAWAV

 

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Words from YAWAV:

 

YAWAV is empowering and has impacted all of us in positive ways. It has helped us improve our public speaking and communication skills, and work ethics. Through the program, it gave us a better understanding about sexual harassment, dating/domestic violence, body image, and many more topics. If it wasn’t for YAWAV, all of us would have never met each other and become friends. It has influenced us to realize how vulnerable we are to dangers everyday. We use what we learn from YAWAV, and put them into workshops to inform other people upon what we’ve learned. We are proud to be a generation of YAWAV and are also glad that we can help prevent these incidents from happening to other youths.

 

-Leslie Yip, Kathie Huang, Susanna Cheng, Kelly Liu, Julie Youn, Jenny Voung, Catarina Ong

8/19/08