Stage 1- Tension Building

Tension in the relationship starts to increase. The abuser will start to blame, and argue and become furious. This stage can last from weeks to months to even years, but becomes more frequent as the cycle repeats. Usually this stage involves verbal and minor physical abuse.

 

Stage 2- Eruption

Abuser will now begin slapping, kicking, choking, battering, hitting his/her victim. There may be use of objects or weapons. Verbal threats and abuse occurs, sometimes even sexual abuse. In this stage the abuser “loses control” of his/her anger and violence and begin to take action.

 

Stage 3- Honeymoon

The abuser will say “sorry” and promise not to erupt again. The abuser may even use excuses such as “I was drunk, I didn’t know what I was doing” or “I don’t know what came over me.” In this stage the abuser might give gifts to ask for forgiveness. They cycle repeats more frequently, this stage becomes shorter.